What is the Inner Child?
You may have heard the term "inner child" thrown around in conversations about healing, self-development, or even recovery. But what exactly is the inner child?
In simple terms, the inner child represents that part of you that still holds onto experiences, beliefs, and emotions from your childhood. It's that vulnerable, playful, and often wounded part of yourself that remains deep within, yet profoundly shaping how you react to the world around you.
For many, the inner child carries unresolved emotions and unmet needs - feelings of being abandoned, misunderstood, or that old favourite ‘not good enough’, and these experiences can continue to influence how you live your adult life, often without you even realising it.
Have you ever noticed yourself reacting overly defensively to criticism, feeling overwhelmingly hurt by rejection, or constantly seeking approval from anywhere but yourself? Or have you ever wondered why you keep making the same ‘mistakes’ over and over again, especially when it comes to your relationships? These are just a few ways in which our responses, or reactions, are actually being led by our inner child’s unmet needs and desires.
But here’s the empowering part: reconnecting with and healing your inner child is not only possible, it’s totally transformative!
When you acknowledge this part of yourself and work to provide the safety, love, and validation your inner child never received, you begin to unlock a new level of emotional freedom and personal growth. Healing the inner child is a profound step toward self-actualisation which allows you to move through life with a greater sense of peace, confidence, and self-worth.
How Do I Know If My Inner Child Needs Healing?
Most of us carry some childhood wounds that influence our adult behavior. Whether it’s anxiety, fear of abandonment, or low self-esteem, these signs often point to a wounded inner child. Other signs include people-pleasing, perfectionism, or self-sabotage. Recognising these patterns is the first step to healing.
If you’d like to explore these signs in more detail, I’ve created a downloadable PDF that breaks each one down further and offers guidance on how to start addressing them.
In my coaching practice, I’ve seen clients transform massively when they acknowledge their inner child’s pain and take steps to address it. One client, let’s call her Sarah, used to find that she would feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety whenever she were in social situations.
At first, Sarah couldn’t quite put their finger on why. But when we got curious and explored further, it became clear that this anxiety stemmed from her unpleasant experiences at school leaving her inner child feeling unsafe and unaccepted, particularly in situations where she feared being judged or rejected.
Sarah shared a story from childhood where she always felt like she didn’t quite fit in, especially at school. Those feelings of not being "good enough" carried into adulthood, causing Sarah to feel anxious around new people. Through working with her inner child Sarah started to build a sense of safety and acceptance within herself.
It wasn’t an overnight shift, but little by little, step by step, she began to feel more at ease in social situations. Sarah learned how to give her inner child the love and reassurance she had so longed for growing up, and with time, that inner peace made all the difference in how she showed up in the world.
How Can I Reconnect with My Inner Child?
Reconnecting with your inner child is a journey of rediscovery - it’s a process that invites you to embrace the parts of yourself that may have been buried, forgotten, or ignored for years. It’s about learning to listen to the needs, emotions, and desires that your younger self once expressed but were neglected or unaddressed.
A good place to start is by practicing self-compassion - replace self-criticism with kindness. Your inner child needs nurturing, not perfection.
It’s also important to allow yourself to feel the emotions you’ve pushed aside.
Anger, sadness, or fear might have been buried for years, but now is the time to acknowledge them and give your inner child space to be heard.
Play is another powerful way to reconnect. When you think back to the times in your childhood you were happy what did it involve? For me it was climbing tress, making mud pies and signing along to my favourite songs (regardless of whether or not I knew the words!)
By engaging in joyful, creative activities that make you feel free and alive - whether it's dancing, singing, or spending time in nature you are letting your inner child know and feel accepted and celebrated.
Lastly, remember that reconnecting with your inner child is not something you need to do alone. Support from others, whether through therapy, coaching, or joining a community, can be invaluable.
Sometimes, hearing another share there own similar experiences or the presence of another person who sees you and understands your journey can provide the safety your inner child needs to fully emerge and heal. It is in these supportive environments that the real magic happens, where you can feel truly seen, heard, and accepted and know that you are not the only one who has been feeling this way.
As you embark on this journey, please remember that healing is not always a straight path. There will be moments of joy, moments of sorrow, and moments of profound insight. But each step will bring you closer to wholeness, joy, and a deeper connection to who you truly are.
How Does Inner Child Healing Transform Your Life?
Healing your inner child isn’t just about revisiting past wounds. It’s about creating a new narrative that honors your true self. As you heal, you’ll notice improvements in your relationships - approaching them with more clarity and confidence. Your self-worth will grow, leading to healthier boundaries, deeper connections, and the courage to pursue your passions.
Most importantly, inner child healing fosters peace. As you release old emotional burdens, you make space for joy and contentment. You no longer carry the weight of unhealed wounds.
Life becomes less about striving for perfection or avoiding pain, and more about embracing the fullness of your experience with grace and compassion.
This transformation is not a one-time event but an ongoing process of self-discovery. As you continue to nurture your inner child, you’ll find that you gain more confidence, emotional resilience, and a stronger sense of purpose. Your life becomes a reflection of your healed, whole self, allowing you to move forward with a sense of freedom, joy, and authenticity.
What’s My Personal Experience with Inner Child Healing?
As a coach who has walked the path of recovery and self-discovery, inner child healing is something that has had a profound impact on my own life. It wasn’t until I began working with my own inner child that I realised how many of my adult behaviours and reactions were directly tied to unresolved childhood wounds. It was an awakening that shifted my entire perspective on myself and how I interacted with the world around me.
I’d like to share a piece of my journey with you - one that taught me just how powerful it is to connect with and heal our inner child. Growing up, I was taught, like so many of us, to suppress my emotions. Expressing anger or frustration was simply out of the question, especially if it disrupted anyone else’s peace. I quickly learned to “pull myself together” whenever I felt intense emotions and not to make a fuss over anything that hurt me. Over time, I built walls around my anger, hiding it away, trying my best to be anything but “too emotional” or “too difficult.”
Yet, as I grew into adulthood, I discovered that buried emotions don’t stay silent forever. My unresolved anger would erupt over the smallest things, catching me off guard and, honestly, confusing me. I had become the very thing I feared — an “angry person.” But beneath that anger was something much deeper: a child who never felt fully seen or heard.
It wasn’t until I entered primary treatment that I was given space to face those emotions. For the first time, I allowed myself to feel the depth of anger, sadness, and hurt that I had pushed down for so long. It was a powerful experience, almost like reconnecting with a part of myself that had been waiting for me all these years. Through this process, I learned to offer that child within me the support and understanding she had been missing.
And the more I engaged in this work, the more I noticed positive changes in my life. I became more patient with myself, more able to forgive my imperfections, and more confident in my ability to navigate life’s challenges without falling into old patterns of self-doubt or fear.
Today, I’m not perfect. I still get angry from time to time, but now it’s different. When anger surfaces, I can pause and listen to what my inner child needs. I reassure her that she’s safe, and I’m here to listen and protect her. This journey has allowed me to become not only a gentler person but also someone who deeply understands the power of inner healing. And it’s this understanding that I bring into my work, creating a safe space for others to connect with their inner child and transform old wounds into newfound strength.
As I began incorporating inner child work into my coaching practice, I witnessed similar transformations in my clients. One client, for instance, came to me struggling with feelings of perfectionism and fear of failure, which were affecting both his personal and professional life.
Through our work together, it became clear that these fears were rooted in his childhood experiences where he felt constantly pressured to perform and meet high expectations to feel loved. As he began to connect with his inner child and provide them with the unconditional love he had never received, his perfectionism gradually began to loosen its grip. He found himself taking more risks, embracing failure as part of his growth, and experiencing a sense of freedom he hadn’t felt in years.
This process isn’t always easy - it requires vulnerability and the courage to the face parts of ourselves that we may have hidden away for years. But the rewards are immeasurable. When you heal your inner child, you’re not just healing your past; you’re transforming your present and opening up a brighter, more authentic future.
Whether you are just beginning your journey of self-healing or you’ve been on this path for some time, remember that your inner child is always with you, waiting to be seen, heard, and loved. The work may be challenging at times, but the sense of peace, self-acceptance, and joy that comes from this healing is worth every step.
Embrace the Journey of Inner Child Healing
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